About Toshoya

In a nutshell

Where It All Started…

Growing up, I always felt like I never belonged.

I was born 4th out of 6 children, never feeling seen or heard and always feeling like the odd one out.

Sadly, this made me feel like I had to “perform” in order to receive love and validation from my parents. Not to mention, in the effort to always “perform” for my parents, I always felt like the “goodie two shoes” amongst my siblings, which wasn’t always fun.

I always wanted to be just like them. Just fit in. Unfortunately, this feeling to perform pretty much stuck with me all throughout childhood, up until my mid-twenties without even being consciously aware of it. But as I was growing up, I found a love for physical activity/fitness and the human body.

I loved being outdoors and playing outside for hours! Whether that was climbing trees, going for LONG bike rides, going to the creek/park, or playing with friends. You name it, I was OUTSIDE (lol)! I loved being active and loved to see what my body was capable of. And I’m still intrigued to this day!

My love for physical activity was the one thing that helped me feel in my element. Like my true self.

This led me to running track and field all throughout grade school. However, that all changed when my family and I moved from a low income neighbourhood to the suburbs in 2006.

I left all my friends, all the familiar parks, everything I know and loved, to move to a city that I did not like and knew nothing about. Not only did I not like it, but we were told by our parents that we couldn’t play the driveway or on the streets like how we use to play in our old neighbourhood. I was confused and could not understand why we couldn’t play the way we knew how.

Now I couldn’t express myself the only way I knew how. Through physical activity.

That big move and not being able to express myself the only way I knew how, was the start of my depression, that went completely unrecognized and me being labelled as a miserable child.

Fast forward to 2009; now in grade 9, still depressed and being labelled as a “miserable child”, I joined my schools track team and was able to rediscover my love for fitness and the human body.

Thankfully, my sincere love for fitness and physical activity, coupled my desire to understand the human body, made me decide to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Kinesiology, at Ontario Tech University.

During my time in university, I started weight training and immediately fell in love!

Weight training gave me confidence like nothing before and made me feel good about myself. It allowed me to see and understand that I am capable of being so much more.

This quickly became my safe space and space of healing. Weight training was a tool that helped me work through my depression, low self-esteem, and low confidence, amongst so many other things. This ultimately sparked my desire to be better than I have ever been and my journey into personal development.

This was the beginning of my journey to being a personal trainer and the journey to my true self.

I always believe there is room for growth, no matter how far you’ve come and weight training was the first tool that helped me to understand that.

This quickly became my safe space and space of healing. Weight training was a tool that helped me work through my depression, low self-esteem, and low confidence, amongst so many other things. This ultimately sparked my desire to be better than I have ever been and my journey into personal development.

This was the beginning of my journey to being a personal trainer and the journey to becoming my true self.

I always believe there is room for growth, no matter how far you’ve come and weight training was the first tool that helped me to understand that.

Strictly speaking for myself, I can honestly say that this journey has been (and still is) some of the hardest work I’ve ever done. Simply because I had to get real honest with myself and face my demons.

And NO ONE wants to do that lol. But the results are truly worth it!

So you can either continue to hide behind your work and/or accolades, avoiding all the inner work, living unhappily as someone you know you are not. Or you can put on your favourite pair of shoes and start stepping into the real inner work to be your true authentic self. The woman you’ve always known yourself to be.

It can get rough. But luckily I am here to help you with all of that!

Hence why I created this blog and why I am making it my mission to help other women; women who are depressed, anxious, feel unseen, unheard and are simply tired of being labelled as something you’re not and living another life. To help women avoid falling into the same traps I did growing up and struggled to get out.

Although I am still learning and growing (which never stops), I am dedicated to help at least one woman on her journey to becoming her highest self. This is such an important journey, if not THE most significant journey we must embark on to become our best selves. I believe that by becoming our highest selves, we can improve the overall quality of our lives and ultimately the world.

So are you ready to become the woman you know you are and living an authentic life?

Or are you satisfied living a life that is untrue, where you know you cannot be free?

Like I said before, I am here to help. 

So let’s get started!

Ready to experience change?

Let’s Change Together!